Current:Home > StocksDavid Sedaris on why you should dress like a corpse -WealthRise Academy
David Sedaris on why you should dress like a corpse
View
Date:2025-04-14 14:40:04
I went to a play the other night and thought, wait, is this a Broadway theater or a Home Depot? An honest mistake, as my fellow audience members were dressed to harvest crops and drain septic tanks.
Was there a sign on the door demanding that people at least wear shirts, or was it just a coincidence that no one was bare-chested? I mean, cargo shorts and flip-flops, to the theater!
I know we're living in a different age: "Who are you to tell me how to dress for a night out?" But if this wasn't a special occasion, what was? Making an effort shows respect to the performers, and to your fellow audience members.
I attended a murder trial in Arizona once where the mother of the accused took the stand in cut-off shorts and a "Ghostbusters" T-shirt. And again, you really couldn't find anything better in your closet?
In the past if I was going somewhere special, I'd put on a tie, but my ideas of evening wear have changed over the years.
"Those look … ahem ... comfortable," people tell me, wincing at the culottes I pair with knee socks in cold weather. And I'm like, "You do know that you can just say nothing, right?" When did that become any kind of a compliment?
The mark of an adult used to be that you could be mildly uncomfortable for vast stretches of time. You'd put on a suit and a real pair of shoes and somehow manage to work for eight hours. Then, maybe, you'd change into something even more restricting and go out to dinner.
Now we need to be comfortable all the time, and for every occasion.
Except, oddly, when we're dead!
Go to an open-casket funeral and the corpse is pretty much always the best-dressed person in the room. Often it'll be the first time the person has ever worn a suit, or the first time in ages. Beautiful dresses, hair done just so.
If I ran a Broadway theater, that's what I would demand of the audience: Dress like you're about to be buried, or reduced to ashes in a kiln.
And, of course, turn off your phones.
For more info:
- davidsedarisbooks.com
- "Happy-Go-Lucky" by David Sedaris (Little, Brown), in Hardcover, Trade Paperback, eBook and Audio formats, available via Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Bookshop.org
Story produced by Amy Wall. Editor: Emanuele Secci.
More from David Sedaris:
- Beware, restaurants: David Sedaris espouses "heganism"
- Hey, Boss, David Sedaris wants to correct you
- On coming out, all over again
- On Alaska, land of eagles and no neckties
- David Sedaris looks into his crystal ball
- Humorist David Sedaris has diverse opinions about on-screen representation
- Taking a stand on giving up a seat
- David Sedaris demands the right to fire others
- David Sedaris vs. nail polish
veryGood! (617)
Related
- Small twin
- Fed official broke ethics rules but didn’t violate insider trading laws, probe finds
- Aubrey Plaza, Stevie Nicks, more follow Taylor Swift in endorsements and urging people to vote
- Real Housewives of Potomac's Karen Huger Breaks Silence on DUI Car Crash in Dramatic Season 9 Trailer
- San Francisco names street for Associated Press photographer who captured the iconic Iwo Jima photo
- Court won’t allow public money to be spent on private schools in South Carolina
- Watch Army veteran literally jump for joy over this surprise gift from his wife
- MLB playoff picture: Wild card standings, 2024 division standings
- Selena Gomez engaged to Benny Blanco after 1 year together: 'Forever begins now'
- Francine weakens moving inland from Gulf Coast after hurricane winds cause blackouts
Ranking
- Juan Soto to be introduced by Mets at Citi Field after striking record $765 million, 15
- Northern lights may be visible in 17 states: Where to see forecasted auroras in the US
- Linkin Park setlist: All songs in the From Zero World Tour kickoff with Emily Armstrong
- Over 40,000 without power in Louisiana as Hurricane Francine slams into Gulf Coast
- Former Syrian official arrested in California who oversaw prison charged with torture
- Warm oceans strengthened Hurricane Francine and could power more Fall storms
- Over 40,000 without power in Louisiana as Hurricane Francine slams into Gulf Coast
- University of Mississippi official and her husband are indicted on animal cruelty charges
Recommendation
IRS recovers $4.7 billion in back taxes and braces for cuts with Trump and GOP in power
Phoenix Suns call ex-employee's $60M demand for discrimination, wrongful termination 'ridiculous'
Nikki Garcia Files for Divorce From Artem Chigvintsev After His Domestic Violence Arrest
Libertarian candidates for Congress will be left off Iowa ballots after final court decision
SFO's new sensory room helps neurodivergent travelers fight flying jitters
Dave Grohl and Wife Jordyn Blum Were All Smiles on Wimbledon Date 2 Months Before His Baby News
2024 MTV VMAs: Taylor Swift Makes History With Artist of the Year Win
Taylor Swift Gives Enchanting Shoutout to Boyfriend Travis Kelce in 2024 MTV VMAs Speech